Monday, 27 June 2011

A Story To Live By

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was
blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He
was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I
could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the
bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including
her boyfriend.

He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you
marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that
he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.
She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them
the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to
her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for
before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status
changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before,
and who was always by their side in the most painful

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who
can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of
someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of
someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who
died too early on this earth.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone
who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't
clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the

Before whining about the distance you drive Think of
someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think
of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had
your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning
another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a
smile on your face and think: you're alive and still

Saturday, 25 June 2011

Balancing Self-Growth and Family Needs Is Always a Challenge

     The possibilities a mother has for developing her own talents at home are exiting; however, most of us know too well the difficulties of finding a comfortable balance between the time we invest in our own interests and the time we devote to our families. "BALANCE! Wow! What a loaded term!" As a mother of two sons, it's been nine months struggle each time to figure out how to get the dishes done, the house in reasonable order and the three of us dressed for the day. Now I have to figure out how to be ME! It's an identity that one constantly struggles with. How in the world can I figure it out when my time is so limited by other responsibilities?
     Many of us feel guilty giving time to ourselves when, after all, we are home for the purpose of nurturing others. Yet, most of us- over a period of time, and only after much trial and error- discover that we are happier, more loving mothers when we take the time to develop our own interests.
     When we become wives and mothers and first establish our homes, we are surprised to discover a new kind of self-fulfilment that beings to enrich our lives. These feelings of happiness seem to flow from the spouse and children. We find ourselves in new roles with new responsibilities, experiencing new feelings. As meaningful as this fulfilment is however, we also want to feel that there is still just "me" attributes that we nourish before we had family. And so, the great challenge and opportunity facing women at home today is to seek ways to enhance their own potential while keeping their family foremost in their priorities.
Feel free to share your experience as a stay-at-home mom. "You, yourself and your time". How you manage your time? Balancing, time management, your self-esteem, your identity.....This is a never ending topic, but has to begin somewhere.

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Listen To Someone Younger

       I never thought I'd say this, but I fear that I'm already outliving my usefulness. I fear that people will stop listening to me or thinking that I have something to contribute.
     Face it- you're getting older by the day. The good news is that, if you are paying attention to your life, you're also getting wiser. The bad news is that, little by little you are growing out of touch with that sector of the population that moves fast and collects information and solves problems and make decisions.
     For every one's sake, don't hold on to the past. One of the best way to release your grip on it is to pay attention to someone a lot younger than you. Make a point to seek out a young person and ask questions, recruit abilities, and seek opinion.
     If you find yourself in a meeting- whether it's business, prayer hall, or the local neighborhood organization- and you are part of that middle-aged or even senior-aged majority, make room for the younger member to speak up. Listen to what they say; you will learn something. You will also gain the friendship of the people who have more energy and more time left than you do.
     When you listen to younger people, you offer them respect and, thus, affirmation and encouragement. Listening is a part of mentoring, but you don't have to be a mentor or have any sort of authority to listen.

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Juggling the Balls of Motherhood

     Starting with Freud, mothers began to get a bum rap. We were the cause of all stress and distress in our kids. Although we now know there are countless reasons children unfold as they do, "mother bashing" still happens- we especially do it ourselves. We have an internal litany of failures, "I shouldn't work....I should always be understanding....I should be more lenient, or less lenient..." On and on we go against ourselves.
     In fact, it is very difficult to juggle motherhood and all the other facets of our lives. We aren't going to do a perfect job. But we will be much better mothers when we learn to congratulate ourselves for our strength and resourcefulness rather than criticize ourselves for our real, or imagined, shortcomings.
     Take a moment and write down your job description as a mother. What is expected of you? What myriad of chores and responsibilities do you handle each day? Pretty amazing, right? Making it a habit to congratulate yourself for the things you do well empowers you to do more things even better than before.
     We all thrive in an atmosphere of inner support and wither under criticism. Being a mother is a difficult and delightful job. Let's give ourselves credit!
     "I am strong and resourceful mother.I like my mothering abilities. I forgive myself for the times I've parented poorly."

Monday, 20 June 2011

Lose An Argument

      It's an exhilarating thing to be proven right. It is deeply satisfying to be vindicated. Such exhilaration and satisfaction are the reasons why people love to argue, why we hang on so long, why we must have the last word, and why we get red-faced and otherwise act like idiots over small matters.
     Sometimes, though, there's more important than being right. Sometimes the best thing is to be gracious, even humble. Maybe it's more valuable to let another do something the wrong way and learn from it. Or maybe the argument is really another argument altogether, one that neither person can articulate, and so both people have chosen some other point to tussle over. Or - who knows?- you may be the one in the wrong, and the sooner you admit it and act like a good sport, the better everyone will be.
     Did you ever play a tug of war when you were kid, and you suddenly just let go and watched your opponent fall in surprise? Why not end an argument by suddenly, "You know, you're probably right, and this isn't so important to me. I'd rather that we get along and that you feel satisfied with the outcome. So let's do whatever you want. How can I help you achieve what you're aiming for?"
     Such behavior can be refreshing change of pace. Try it, or some version of it.

Friday, 17 June 2011

Good News! Good News! Good News!

      Couple of weeks ago on Friday, there was my post on what's going on in my child's school!  If you all remember ! Here's the link again: . My today's post is the result of that previous post.
     I'm very proud to let you all know that my son, who's 8 years old, in Grade-3, goes to IB World school, has won the school science fair project (otherwise called "Inquiry Fair Project) on "Nuclear Power Plant" . He was soooo happy and so was I. I wasn't expecting that he will win because the competition was soo tough. Actually I myself was one of the judge in that panel but of course I didn't judge his class. Trust me, it's not easy to judge an IB students brain. When you look at their projects, their displays, they were not begging for ranking, they were demanding for their ranks. Those kids coming with a big smile on their face, looked like it was just a piece of cake for them. They were the students from SK-Grade 5. It became very very difficult for the judges to pick the winners. But finally it had to end. The big day was June the 16th for which all the parents n students were waiting for 2 months.
     There were two awards for these projects. Runner-up and the Winner. First, the runner-up was announced, which was not my son. I and my son were very depressed. I told him, "Son, m sorry. It's all because of me." to which he said, "It's OK mom, at least we tried." and our hands were shivering. Couple of minutes later, when the runner-up joined her seat, there was the Winner declared. "And the WINNER is Parwaiz Dhanani." I screamed on top of my voice. And my son was like, "Really" . He couldn't believe it either. Went running to the podium. I've never seen him this happy.
     While on our way back, he tells me, "All your hard work paid off mom." And that was my TROPHY. (where your son counts your efforts too. This shows that childrens are always watching  you more than they are listening to you.)
     There is a saying that says, "Don't worry that children are not listening, worry that they are always watching you."
     Lastly, I'd like to THANK YOU all those friends who have wished him luck. It's all because of his efforts and your prayers that he climbed one more ladder towards his goal. Thanks You. :) I'd like to share the picture of us.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Get To Know The Real You

     At this point you might ask yourself, what is she talking about? I know myself. After all, I'm with myself 24/7. How much better can I know me? You spend so much of your time focused on your relationships with other people that you often neglect the most important relationship of all - the relationship with yourself.
     The majority of women are so catch up in their lives that they've forgotten who they truly are. When someone asks you to introduce yourself, do you respond by telling them what you do, where you live or who you know? Those are certainly important aspects of life - or at least they shouldn't be.
     Women are so identified with their roles as mother, wife, caretaker, daughter and sometimes career that they often lose track of themselves. Women forget who they are beyond these roles. They forget who they wanted to be, what they dreamt of becoming, what they love, what they value. In effect, they've forgotten their "self." You may be wondering what "self" we're referring to here.
     While it may be known by several different names - your true self, your essential self, your self wise -  this the part of you which is eternal and undiminished by time. It is your soul made evident.
     Many women have buried their authentic selves under a facade constructed in order to please other people or to be socially acceptable. Yet the effort to sustain this image is both draining and self-defeating, and it requires too much energy to maintain. Its time to step free of the scripted life you've been living and search for who you really are in the depth of your being. Peel away everything that's not essential and discover your authentic identity. Reclaim the women you truly are!
     Remember what's most important in your life. Remember your hopes and dreams. Discover or rediscover your deepest yearnings. In order to do this, you need to embark on a psychological search-and-rescue mission to comb back through your life and recover your joy, wisdom, passion, enthusiasm, self-confidence, vitality - the threads of your true self that you lost along the way.
     Creating a life you love requires courage, commitment and perseverance. All of which you have. The call now is for you to be authentically yourself. I am trying reconnecting with my authentic self and reclaiming my true joys and passions.
     There is reason behind writing this article. I will share my part of story tomorrow which is linked with this article. Till then enjoy this song which expresses the beauty of a women. It's a real source of inspiration to all the women's. Enjoy. Good night and see you tomorrow. God Bless you all.

Sunday, 12 June 2011


"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing;
 It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving."

     Today I'd like to share this poem which I heard in the seminar I attended on Saturday. Couldn't wait to post it. This is a poem by "Mother Teresa" called "Anyways".

                                   Mother Teresa's Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

I Am Beautiful

"If everyone lit their own candle, the whole world would be lit." Mary Moskovitz

I am beautiful.
     I don't have a perfect complexion. I don't have an incredible smile or eyes that draws people in. I am 5'2", average by most standards, and I bite my nails. My makeup never looks quite right. No one has ever accused me of being gorgeous.
     But I m beautiful.
     Because, I see beauty everywhere. I see beauty in the eyes of homeless person. I see beauty in people life who live in old age homes. I saw beauty in my mother, even though she never wears makeup, her glasses dating from early 90's, and can't be bothered reading magazines with the word "beauty" anywhere on the cover. She was gorgeous. 
     I am beautiful.
     I will never be a model, win  beauty pageant, or have my hands used in print ads. I will never be able to control my temper. I will never be able to get back those times which I spent in the warmth of my parents. I will never be able to complete my studies from where I left. As it turns out, beauty isn't to be found in the past or in the applause of an audience when you get the degree.
     But I am beautiful.
     Because I see beauty in the world. I see beauty in the dialysis patient who goes to hospital early hours of 6:00 a.m, all by themselves in the cab, in their wheel chair, nobody with them to drop or pick, EVERYDAY. I see beauty in those old age parents who wants their children back to take care of them. I see beauty in my Friend's smile, even though he/she seeks truth through isolation.
     I am beautiful.
     I know that on the outside I wouldn't stop traffic, but I also know that if you dig a little deeper you will strike gold. I feel beautiful because I see beauty everywhere. I see beauty in my children's smile. By seeing beauty even in unlikely places, I am able to see the beauty in me. By seeing the beauty in me, I can't help but smile. And when I smile:
     I am beautiful.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Close

     A core step to finding joy is connecting with other people. This can often involve bridging differences, with our partners, close friends, family, community, even other cultures. Most of us know how satisfying it can be when someone says, "You're right." And there is nothing wrong with that.
     But when we get invested in proving that we are right and others are wrong, we break the web that connects us as humans.
     When we take the stance that our way is the only way , we end up alone on a perch looking down on others. Sometimes, others who believe just as we do join us on the perch, but when we surround ourselves with people just like ourselves we don't grow or expand.
     The dance of life involves learning to hang on to your heartfelt beliefs. It's fine to respectfully disagree without trying to change the other person. That way, everyone wins.
     When people want to argue with the goal of proving you wrong you may start to feel trapped and invaded. I certainly do. I've learned to say, "I don't want to argue with you." If the person goads you to engage in n argument, you can simply say, "I prefer not to debate the subject. Let's just respectfully disagree."
     There is an Indian saying, "Don't judge a person until you have walked a mile in their moccasins." It is a freeing experience to suspend your judgement, let go of demands, and imagine in the shoes of another. It expands our understanding, leads to compassion, and helps us become closer to one another.

Monday, 6 June 2011

People Are IDIOTS And I Can Prove It !

     On Sunday, the 5th of June, I went to my local library as usual.Usually I take a minimum of 3-4 hours n go to library, because for me the time is never enough in that world. But this particular Sunday I didn't had much time to spent, hardly 1-2 hours. In which I had to pick good chapter books for my kids n spent some reading time with them. Apart from this I was just left with 45 mins. for my own pick-ups. So as I was randomly picking my fiction and non-fiction books, just like that. Usually I read the review n then take, but coz of less time i just picked by the Title of the book, which i never do.
     There was this book which caught my eye, named, "People Are IDIOTS And I Can Prove It !" by Larry Winget. New York Times Bestselling Author of "You're Broke Because You Want To Be".
     I just started reading this book. The first line he addresses this way: "To idiots everywhere. Without them, I would be unemployed." "No matter how smart you are, you spend most of your day being an idiot."
     The first chapter itself, he tries to prove that people are idiots. M wondering what's in the last chapter? I can't wait to finish this book. Because I want to know how he proves it? How is he so sure?
     Will get back to you in the morning with the review and more on this. Till then Good Night and Sleep Tight. :)

Friday, 3 June 2011

How Can You Have a Successful Day from the Inside Out?

If you learn even one thing about yourself today,
     it will be a successful day.

If you handle one situation with another person a little better than you have before,
     it will be a successful day.

If you have been more patient and compassionate with someone else or yourself,
     it will be a successful day.

If you gain a little bit more understanding about something or someone,
     it will be a successful day.

If  you resist indulging in an odd, unhealthy pattern of behavior or of thinking and instead choose a new one,
     it will be a successful day.

If you are kind to someone else, or to yourself,
     It will be a successful day.

If you love yourself even though you don't do everything perfectly,
     it will be a successful day.

If you are grateful for the gift of being alive and for the opportunity to learn and grow,
     it will be a successful day.

It's not as easy as it's said, but a little effort each time, will make your day .

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

The Extra Mile Is Never Found on the Path of Least Resistance

     Hi all, Thanks for all your comments on my previous post. Your comments, your suggestions, motivates me and helps me improve in my thinking and writing skills. Thanks again.

     Google, the amazing search engine that tamed the vast resources of the Internet, has drawn hordes of prospective employees to their doorsteps. And in spite of their growing size, the company remains highly selective of job applicants. In fact, they are not even interested in reviewing an application if the person does not show initiative.
     So how does Google weed out the best from the rest? They take a different approach. In the summer of 2004, for example, Google placed billboard ads that simply read:

{first 10 digit prime found in consecutive digits of e}.com.

     Anyone able to solve that puzzle and find the website was directed to another website with another thorny math problem. Those smart enuf to decipher that problem were taken to an internal Google page that praised their "big, magnificent brain" and invited them to apply for a job.
     Google assumed that if a person was motivated enough to solve a problem on a billboard and jump through their hoops, they were motivated enough to work for them.
     Not a bad strategy! By default, it eliminates those who are seeking the path of least resistance. Someone once said, "Following the path of least resistance is what makes men and rivers crooked." We can drift towards success; instead we find triumph not by drifting, but through intention. And that's exactly where you find the extra mile- on the intentional path.
     In other words, the extra mile requires initiative. It requires more than the minimum. Somewhere in my records, where I keep all my paper cuttings, whenever I read something nice, in the newspaper or magazine, I cut that piece of article n save it my records. I saved this list a long ago.

    Do More Than the Minimum
  1. I will do more than belong - I will participate.
  2. I will do more than care - I will help.
  3. I will do more than believe - I will practice.
  4. I will do more than be fair - I will be kind.
  5. I will do more than forgive - I will forget.
  6. I will do more than dream - I will work.
  7. I will do more than teach - I will inspire.
  8. I will do more than earn - I will enrich.
  9. I will do more than give - I will serve.
10. I will do more than live - I will grow.
11. I will do more than suffer - I will triumph.
     Author Unknown (sometimes attributed to William Arthur Ward)